You Don’t Have To Please Everyone

One of the main causes of unnecessary suffering is our obsessive preoccupation with pleasing everyone. Maybe you tell yourself that this is not true for you and that you are not at all interested in bending to the tastes and preferences of other people to be accepted.

In reality, this is a behavior that we have all adopted at some point and we continue to do the same on a smaller scale.

In order to integrate into a social and emotional environment, people are programmed to harmonize, to be in tune with those around them. This means that you often have to please others, be kind, and even say “yes” when you want to say “no.”

The solution in this case is to strike a balance and assert emotional intelligence. We all want to thank those around us and be considered friendly people. However, this does not mean that we have to feel compelled to please everyone.

In today’s article we want to discuss this topic a bit.

The desperate need to please everyone and please everyone

People feel the need to be “liked” by those around them, and anyone who disputes this truth is wrong. To please others means, for example, to perfect the art of seduction in order to attract that potential partner who aroused your interest.

To please others means to create a positive image during a job interview to ensure your future success.

We want to please the people we want as friends and often leave it to us in our relationships with family to maintain harmony.

However,  a small compromise does not mean a big loss. It is simply a way to maintain the balance needed for a happy coexistence. If each of us acted only in our own interest, imposing limits and building barriers, we would lose the notion of society.

Probably the question that comes to mind is this: What is the limit? What is the boundary between my identity and the requirements for my integration into society?

We offer you the answer in the following.

The personal process of self-knowledge

Each person has his own essence. This essence is that personal baggage of values, emotions, self-esteem and self-knowledge.

• The process of self-knowledge, in which you discover who you are, lasts a lifetime.

• During adolescence, it is normal to develop that need to please everyone. You are a social being looking for your first experiences and you need, above all, to feel that you are integrating.
• That is why many young people feel a discrepancy between what they are, what they think and what they feel and what the people around them want from them.
• Society requires you to be attractive, perfect and independent. There is a “fashion” that uniforms people, and personal uniqueness and essence are suppressed. This is a wrong thing to do.

In order to find our inner balance, we all feel at some point the need to be unique. We want to be special and different from those around us.

The adventure of being yourself

No matter what some people think, being yourself is not easy. There are the expectations of those around you, of the family, of the society, of the bosses at work.

• All these people expect you to be a good child, a loving partner and an efficient employee.
• Although sometimes you try to find out who you really are, emotional blackmail and the expectations of those around you sometimes force you to give up your own values.
• The adventure of being yourself requires some small confrontations, even if they cause you discomfort. That doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing.

Not everyone has the “good taste” needed to appreciate you

A “no, I don’t like you” is not the end of the world. In fact, it may even pave the way for new opportunities.

• If you strive to please everyone every day, you are moving away from yourself.  This is how you give up that personal journey in which you find your inner balance, self-esteem and identity.
• If a person does not have the “good taste” needed to appreciate your character, colorful laughter, sense of humor, sarcasm and love of life, do not worry.

For every gesture of disgust from a person, there are dozens of other gestures of appreciation from those who value your vitality and uniqueness. Therefore, do not hesitate to enjoy every day the adventure of being yourself.