Learn To Be Yourself In Three Steps

The art of being yourself involves a great deal of courage. After all, we live in a society determined to transform us into identical beings and in which breaking the pattern is a reason to be pointed the finger.

In the first part of life, we are guided by other people who decide our path. We all follow this path: in childhood we are taught to differentiate between good and evil.

In adolescence, we compare ourselves to our friends and colleagues and we want to be accepted and recognized. To look different or to refuse to follow certain rules of conduct is often equivalent to being rejected by others.

One way or another, we all go through hard times in life. We all have moments when we are no longer ourselves, but we transform into what others expect of us to be. 

However, there comes a time when we pause for a moment to ask ourselves the fundamental question: Who am I really? It is not a subject of unnecessary philosophical debate, but an important question that deserves special attention.

When you find out who you really are, you realize that many of the things and people around you don’t suit you. You don’t synchronize with them, there is no balance. Thus, it is necessary to make certain changes.

We suggest you reflect on this idea by going through the 3 steps below.

1. To be yourself means to accept your own identity

Being yourself is like having a beautiful, special, but fragile being in your heart. If you’re not faithful to her, you hurt her. Remember:

• Your identity is not made up of external, temporary things. Therefore, the fact that you do not currently have a job should not be integrated into your inner forum as a failure.
• Likewise, if you have recently broken up with your bad partner, it does not mean that you do not deserve to be loved.
• To be yourself means to feed from the roots with everything you have lived and felt, in order to create your own perspective on life, universal and positive.

Above all, remember one important thing. When you discover your own identity, you must respect the principles that define it. 

Why do we sometimes ignore this convention with ourselves?

• Because we believe it is more important to thank others and obey their expectations.
• Because of fear. Sometimes we are afraid to be ourselves, not to disappoint others and to be different from what they expect from us.

• Some people do not like themselves as they are. Lack of self-acceptance, both physically and emotionally, is undoubtedly a source of frustration.

2. The labels that others give us don’t matter

The society in which we live has a major flaw: it condemns, judges and labels.

People feel the need to label and judge others in order to have control over them. If a person is labeled by those around them as clumsy and ridiculous, they will believe this, and others will be able to dominate them.

Maybe in the beginning we all let ourselves be controlled by the opinions of those around us. However, at some point, we must realize that they are just noises and empty words.

What others say or think about you is their problem. It is their own limited world. Their opinions should not affect you, because happiness only gives you the feeling that you are free and proud of yourself.

3. To be yourself means to make changes

Just because you accept your own identity does not mean that it is ingrained and cannot be changed. If you refuse to change a certain aspect when needed, you will not be able to evolve. In addition, it will be difficult for you to adapt to the environment in which you live.

Carl Rogers is one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century. His humanist approach is unique and is based on several essential ideas:

• People develop their personality to achieve their goals in life.

• When we accept ourselves, we offer ourselves the opportunity to change in order to fulfill our dreams. 

This idea may seem contradictory to you, but think about the example below:

You are in a complicated relationship. In the end, you decide to end it. You do this because you know what you want and what you don’t want. You want to be yourself and not be content with a substitute for happiness and a relationship in which there is no compatibility.

When you break up with this person, you change something inside you. You become stronger. Even if you still love that man, you remember that you deserve to be happy. 

To change means to allow ourselves to evolve in order to be authentic. 

The art of being yourself involves self-acceptance. Later, move on, with all the successes and failures that help you build your identity.

Try to live every day with a smile on your face and in order to be a better person. 

Will you put this advice into practice?